“Too Many to Count”: When Abortion Becomes Birth Control

by a Rehumanize Team Member

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“Abortions, I’ve had a few… but then again, I can’t remember exactly how many.” –Lily Allen on her podcast Miss Me?

I read this in a Buzzfeed article about Lily Allen’s recent podcast episode, where Lily and her cohost Miquita Oliver talk about their past abortions with what can only be described as brutal honesty. Lily recalls she “used to get pregnant all the time” before getting an IUD in her early 20s. She guesses she’s had “four or five” abortions, but isn’t totally sure. Miquita says she’s had about five herself. At one point, Lily sings a parody of the Sinatra song My Way. “Abortions, I’ve had a few…”

The article made my heart break. I didn’t feel anger toward Lily Allen, or toward women who have been through abortion. I wasn’t even upset about the flippant tone of the conversation. I don’t believe Lily Allen should be shunned. This isn’t a callout. I just think this conversation is one of the saddest things I’ve ever read.

When Abortion Becomes Birth Control

There’s a phrase that comes up often in conversations about abortion: “abortion as birth control.” It’s what we’re seeing here. Not a tragic exception. Not a rare medical emergency. Just something routine, predictable. Even expected.

This is not a fringe phenomenon. It’s becoming mainstream. In fact, the idea that abortion should be rare is now seen by some as offensive. The pro-abortion movement used to say, “safe, legal, and rare.” Now, “rare” is increasingly seen as a stigma. The new narrative says we shouldn’t feel weird about any abortion, not even the fifth, or the ones we can’t remember. To question that is to “stigmatize.”

When we treat abortion as just another tool in the sexual health toolbox, as the backup plan after contraception fails or isn’t used at all, we’re not empowering women. We’re failing them. We aren’t only dehumanizing their children, we are dehumanizing mothers as well.

What a Consistent Life Ethic Says

At Rehumanize International, we don’t respond to stories like Lily Allen’s with rage or ridicule. That’s not who we are. We respond with heart and compassion. Because the reality is, she’s not the villain here. The villain is the culture of death.

We live in a world that tells women their worth depends on whether they’re desirable, available, and unattached. We tell them to prioritize pleasure, chase success, and avoid consequences. And when a new life gets in the way we offer them a clinic, not a community. We offer them silence, not support.

And so, when someone laughs about losing track of how many abortions they’ve had, the right response isn’t cruelty. It’s grief. Grief for what’s been lost, and for how lost we’ve become.

If every human life has dignity, then that dignity doesn’t depend on whether the mother feels ready. It doesn’t depend on whether the father sticks around. It doesn’t depend on the circumstances. And that dignity doesn’t disappear just because the pregnancy is inconvenient. Or unplanned. Or even unwelcome.

But here’s the kicker: a woman’s dignity doesn’t disappear either. We affirm both. Always.

We Want More for Women

We don’t want shame; we want healing. We don’t want control; we want compassion. We don’t want to punish women who’ve been abandoned, pressured, or misled; we want to build a world where they never feel they have to choose between their child and their future.

Being consistently pro life is not about controlling women. It’s about rehumanizing the unborn. It’s about rehumanizing women in crisis. It’s about rehumanizing ourselves.

Let’s build a world where no one has to forget how many abortions they’ve had because they never felt like that was the only way out.